I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
