K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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