I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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