Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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