Midget sex pt 2 tonight
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
