My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
