Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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