She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
