We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
smell my finger.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
