the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
