So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
