Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
