so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
