Got a toothbrush?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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