"it" just moved
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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