Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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