It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
