Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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