Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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