Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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