i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
