Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
