You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
