i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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