I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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