hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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