he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
