tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
