Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
