She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
If I die, sorry about rent.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
