i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
