i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
