who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
