Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
