All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Randomize
