Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
