Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
