I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
