shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
