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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
