Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
