i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
