Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize
