Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
