im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
