I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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