Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
