the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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