Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
