I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
