I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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