What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
