he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
