we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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