its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
