did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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