I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize